Mutual Feeling
by Cardboard Bike
Summary: Sai has feelings he doesn't understand, and Sasori can't feel at all.


_For the Aktasuki Halloween Challenge_

_yaoi – you've been warned._

Sai idly traced a path through the condensation on the window as he watched the dingy grey streets go rushing past. It was raining. He didn't dislike rain, but it made him slightly uncomfortable. Rain stopped him from drawing, made the ink run and splatter and ruined his perfect line work.

Apparently this rain was special. A jutsu created by the leader of Akatsuki that allowed him to feel anyone who walked in it. Sai couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a power like that, so he didn't bother trying. And even if the rain stopped he'd have to wait for the train to stop before he could go outside.

Not that that bothered him. He had infiltrated Amegakure for one purpose only; to find and eradicate the next threat to Konoha on Danzō's orders. The rain was an inconvenience in that it meant his mission would take longer, but that was all.

Sai leaned back in his seat, his dark eyes flickering around the cabin. He was the only one in the compartment, which he thought was unfortunate. If there were people he could have used the time to study how they interacted with each other. Naruto had told him it wasn't a good idea to get all his information from books, so he'd taken up people watching. It didn't seem to help much.

He'd kept an eye on two girls his own age the other day, as they appeared similar to Sakura and that other blonde girl whom she seemed to hate. They'd sat close together, whispering something behind their hands, and giggled. For an entire _hour._ They kept staring at him too, the one on the left pink-cheeked and half closing her eyes, fluttering her eyelashes.

When he'd tried to sit that close to Sakura she'd moved away. And when he'd giggled at her she'd punched him. Fluttering his eyelashes at Naruto hadn't worked either. The blond had spat his ramen all over the table and muttered something about fruit.

Sai frowned. Maybe he could have worked on the giggling a bit more. And there was probably some secret technique on how to flutter your eyelashes properly, he'd read somewhere about longer lashes being more effective for something so maybe that was it.

He was contemplating buying mascara, which was what the book had been talking about, when a man stormed into the carriage. Sai sat up straighter, but the man wasn't looking at him. He had that warped expression on his face that Sakura got just before she punched Naruto. He put his hand into his pocket and fingered the items there carefully. Maybe this was the time when he should be Proactive and Confident like his book had suggested, and perhaps initiate a conversation for once. If he could somehow manage to understand this stranger then perhaps he'd be able to one day understand his team.

He took a closer look at the man out of the corner or his eye. The stranger had lost much of the intensity of his expression, but the bland look he was now sporting was undermined by the tight set of his jaw. He had red hair and was wearing the dark robes of the Akatsuki. It was a good thing, then, that he had decided to travel incognito and stash away his hitai-ate, Sai reasoned.

Well, he decided, instigating a conversation with a member of Akatsuki was an even bigger challenge. Was he up to it? He thought for a while, but came up blank. It seemed he didn't really care, either way. Standing up, Sai walked over to where the Akatsuki member was sitting and slipped into the seat opposite him. He pulled the items out of his pocket and slid them across the table to the other man. "Dickless says that candy makes everything better," he said, offering up what he thought was a smile.

The man stared down at the orange and black candy on the table in front of him, and then looked at Sai blankly. "Why are you giving me children's treats?"

"You looked like you needed them more than I do," Sai said, continuing to smile with his eyes closed.

The man picked up a sweet by the edge of its wrapper and stared at it for a while before letting it drop back onto the table. "That's… interesting, but I don't eat. And mother always said not to take candy from strangers."

Sai frowned. "So giving candy to strangers is something you're not supposed to do?"

"That's possibly right." The stranger's eyes flickered to the door, a crease appearing between his brows only to disappear again almost immediately. "It makes you seem like a pedophile. Although you're targeting the wrong age range, as I'm probably nearly twice as old as you."

"You don't look that old," Sai said. He wasn't being coy or flattering – Kami knew he didn't know _how_ to be either of those things – the man honestly did not look much more than a couple of years older than himself.

The man shrugged, looking irritably at the door again. "Looks can be deceiving."

Sai followed his gaze. "Did the door do something to you?"

"I'm waiting for my partner. I dislike waiting."

"Oh. I don't really dislike anything," Sai said blandly.

The man's eyes flickered back to him, and Sai noticed they were a light browny-green. They sparkled with something that might have been interest, or perhaps mild amusement. "You don't dislike anything?"

Sai shrugged. "Well, I don't really like anything either. I'm not supposed to, anyway."

The sides of the man's mouth quirked upwards. "You don't like anything? That's a shame. People who don't like anything could never appreciate true art."

"I've been told that my art is impressive," Sai said, not bragging, merely stating a fact.

"You are an impassive artist, then?" the man asked. "I never thought there could be such a thing."

"My art is my weapon," Sai said.

"As is mine," the man replied. "But fine art is something wonderful that's left long into the future. And to create something wonderful you much first care about what you are doing."

"My art is temporary. It does not have meaning," Sai said.

The man smiled and then laughed, his teeth flashing white in the darkened arena of the train. "You should tell Deidara that."

Sai froze. What was this feeling? "You shouldn't do that," he said quietly.

"Shouldn't do what?" the man asked, still smiling.

"Laugh. Smile. It makes my chest feel tight and my stomach all bouncy and unhappy. I don't think that's a good thing."

The man stared at him curiously, his head tipped slightly to one side. "You've never felt like that before?"

Sai shook his head. "Does it mean I'm sick?"

The man tapped his long fingers on the table absentmindedly, and Sai couldn't help but feel his eyes being drawn to them. They looked like fingers capable of creating fine art. He looked at his own hands, which were pale in comparison but equally as long and thin as the other man's.

"You're nervous, and possibly attracted to me," the man said eventually.

"Is that why I keep looking at your mouth, and wondering what you taste like?" Sai asked. It would be a relief if it was, because then he'd have a name for this new feeling. He didn't like not knowing things.

The man looked slightly startled. "Do you always say exactly what you're thinking?" he asked.

Sai nodded, and the man looked thoughtful for a bit, glancing toward the door again. "I suppose you've never had sex before," the man said slowly.

"Sexual intercourse is where a man puts his penis into a girl's vagina," Sai recited. "No, I don't understand why anyone would want to do that."

The man's lips quirked upwards again. "I don't understand why anyone would want to do that either. Have you ever thought about sex with a man?"

Sai's brow furrowed in thought. Sex involved touching, he knew that, and the idea of touching this man sent a weird tingling feeling shooting through his groin. "I'm not sure," he said softly. "Is that supposed to make me feel like I have lightening in my veins?"

The man gave a genuine smile, and Sai felt something burst inside him, sending warmth through to the tips of his fingers and toes. "That's a nice way of putting it," he said. "Would you like to have sex with me?"

"I don't know," Sai said truthfully. "If my pulse has sped up and my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest does that mean I want to or I don't?"

"You do." The man smiled again. "I only have one condition. Everything I do to you, you have to tell me how it makes you feel, just as openly as you've been telling me everything else. Can you do that?"

Sai nodded, though he couldn't see the point. Wouldn't everything he felt be just the same as what the stranger would feel?

"Good." The stranger nodded, apparently satisfied. He stood gracefully and moved around so he was standing in front of Sai, drawing in close so their noses were almost touching. "Now how do you feel?"

Sai could feel his breath on his face, and he unconsciously slipped his tongue out to moisten his lips. "Like my whole body is on fire," he whispered.

"I like that," the stranger purred, trailing a hand up underneath his shirt, fingers tweaking a nipple gently. He bent forward, eyes fluttering closed, and caught Sai's lips with his own, tugging gently on the top lip with his teeth before pushing further, willing the younger man to open up. When he pulled back Sai's eyes were half-lidded, his lips slightly parted, his breathing somewhat heavier than before. "And that?" he whispered.

Sai struggled to put words to what he was feeling but couldn't. "So soft," he breathed. "Warm. Wet."

The man trailed gentle kisses down his neck, probing pale skin with his tongue. "Don't stop talking."

"Ah-" Sai shuddered as the man pushed his shirt up and flicked his tongue around a pastel nipple. "Like – like liquid lava. It's all flowing towards my – ah – pelvic area."

"And what's your body doing?" the man asked as he swept his mouth further down the pale expanse of Sai's chest.

"Blood is accumulating in my penis, making it harder and giving me an erection," Sai said faintly.

The stranger chuckled against his belly button at his answer, before reaching to unbuckle his belt. Then he paused. "I'm sorry to make you wait, but I'd rather no one walks in on this, as my partner is particularly moronic. I'll just put a guard on the door -"

"I got it," Sai said, hastily scribbling something on a piece of parchment he'd seemed to grab from nowhere. The stranger watched with interest as the drawing lifted itself off the page and slithered over to the door. "That will stop anyone from getting through."

"I'll have to see more of your art sometime," the stranger mused, returning to the task of freeing Sai's erection. "Now. You're feeling?"

"Like spiders are fighting in my lower stomach," Sai replied.

The older man smiled against his skin. "Nervous?"

"I don't know."

"Honest," the stranger noted, and slipped his mouth over the head of Sai's erection, wiggling his tongue across the slit.

Sai gasped. "Fireworks. A-ah-explosion. You're – so warm. Wet, it's – marshmallows."

He hadn't even noticed, but at some point he'd reached down and fisted his hands in the older man's red hair. The stranger fumbled inside his robe for a moment then brought out a small vial of liquid. Sai eyed it warily, or as much as he could with the man's mouth moving on his cock.

"It's joint lubricant," the man explained, pulling away from Sai's straining member with a wet popping sound. "I use it for my puppets. It's safe."

"Art," Sai said hazily, his lips turning upwards.

"Yes, art," the man agreed, tipping a small quantity of the liquid onto his fingers. "And you feel?"

Sai didn't have words for what he was feeling, and he'd never felt more useless. He wanted, no, _needed, _to feel that suction around him again. "I-I need," he started, trailing off lamely and shamelessly thrusting his hips forward so his cock rubbed against the man's cheek.

The stranger chuckled. "Desperate. You feel desperate." Obligingly he licked the underside of the member in front of his face, while reaching around to touch his fingers to the tight pucker of Sai's anus. "Feeling?" he prompted.

"The spiders," Sai gasped, "But bunnies as well. Tickling my insides."

"Nervous," the man asserted. "Concentrate on describing any sensation you get."

He slipped his first finger inside slowly, returning his other hand to the younger man's cock to distract him from the intrusion.

"I feel," Sai started, and then faltered. "I don't know. Warm, tingly. Slightly… uncomfortable. Like -" The stranger returned his mouth to his cock and sucked hard. "Like I'm floating and my brain won't connect, because it's pulsing something _good_."

The red-haired man shifted, adding a second finger and soon after a third. He was getting sick of waiting.

"Oh, I – that feels like – talking about masturbation with Kaka-sensei."

"Awkward and uncomfortable?" the stranger translated.

Sai didn't answer, because the stranger had twitched his fingers and slammed against his prostate. "Aah, white sparks – dizzy – I – again?" he said, any knowledge of sentence structure he'd previously had deserting him.

The stranger did it once more, then abruptly removed his fingers. "Empty," Sai whimpered, the word sliding unbidden from his lips.

"I'll make you feel full again very soon," the red-haired man promised. "Stand."

Sai stood, his knees shaking. The stranger ordered him to turn around, but not before he caught a glimpse of the man's chest. It wasn't normal. He looked – he looked like a mannequin. _I use it for my puppets,_ the man had said. Did this mean that this – he – was a puppet? He didn't _feel_ like a puppet.

But then the stranger had him up against the wall, his pants sliding down his legs and his feet spread wide apart, so he had no more time to think. Then there was something large and blunt pressing against him, forcing inside him, and _pain._ "A thousand needles," Sai gasped.

The older man's arm curled around his waist, stroking him, and he peppered small kisses on the side of his pale neck. "Just wait," he said quietly. "It will feel better."

"I feel like I'm being pulled apart from the inside," Sai panted, "Stretched… so much."

"Relax, you just need to loosen up a bit."

"I'm-" the stranger moved just slightly, and Sai's words dissolved into unintelligible moans. He slapped his hands hard against the wall to stop himself from falling over.

The stranger moved again, harder this time. "You're what?"

"There are no words to describe how this feels," Sai groaned, resting his forehead against the wall. "Just, _more_."

The stranger gripped his hips tightly and thrust into him faster. "If you don't have the words, scream for me. _Moan._"

"Oh, yes, okay-" Sai pushed back against the man filling him, encouraging him deeper. He'd never imagined that this was what sex felt like, why everyone talked about it as if it was the thing to do. It was like nothing else he'd ever felt. He wondered carelessly why the man behind him wasn't breathing hard, or making much noise at all, but pushed the thought aside. He didn't care that much. He just wanted to _feel._

Later, Sai would probably feel embarrassed at the lack of control he'd shown, the noises the stranger had coaxed out of him. But for right now he was incredibly turned on and the only thing he could think about was the hard shaft of the other man's cock brushing against the walls of his tight passage, making him see stars.

As the train shuddered to a stop so did he, crying out as his come splattered over the wall of the carriage, trembling wildly in the aftermath of his orgasm. The stranger pulled out carefully, and unable to stand Sai collapsed back into his arms, dropping them both to the floor. He gazed out the window with glazed eyes. The rain had stopped. "I need to get off here," he said weakly.

The stranger nodded, his breath warm on the back of his neck. Neither of them moved. "I really do," he protested feebly and rose on shaky legs, using the back of the chair to help pull himself up. The stranger stayed on the floor as he tucked himself back into his pants and hobbled his way to the door. He turned to look back when he reached the exit, his eyes raking in the slightly mussed red hair, soulful eyes and that weird, mannequin-like chest. "Thank you," he said, wondering if more was usually necessary after one had sex with a stranger on a train.

The stranger nodded, watching him go with a strange expression in his eyes. Sai stepped out of the carriage with some difficulty, and for some inexplicable reason found himself waiting until the train had moved off, its last carriage disappearing over the horizon, before moving away.

Sasori watched the boy – for he was still a boy, for all they'd just done – move away in silence. He almost regretted not catching his name. That kid, with his almost brutal honestly and frankness, had managed to make him feel human again, at least for a short while. He doubted the boy knew what he had done, or even cared for that matter. He wasn't sure whether what had happened was good or bad, but it had happened and he would move on, because that's what he did.

"Sa-Sasori-baka! Get me out of this damned thing, hm!"

Sasori turned slowly to see his irritating partner hanging from the roof, clawing at his neck where an inky collar kept him airborne. A smile spread slowly over his face, and then he laughed aloud. He could appreciate art like that. Maybe he ought to try and find out the boy's name, after all.


End file.
